Not only is the Ricki Lake Show relaunching this fall (insert clapping!), but the Ricki Lake Magazine just launched online and yours truly is a going to be a contributing writer (insert cartwheel) and I’d love to represent your voices!  My first assignment focuses on Women’s Emotional Health: burning the wick at both ends.  Many of us are in the “sandwich generation” where we’re taking care of our kids, our parents and seldom ourselves.  We wear multiple hats for many reasons and it seems at times that it’s not the village who’s raising your child but you who’s caring for the entire village (sorry, I was having a moment…)  Some of us spin into a controlled chaos of sorts & justify doing it all ourselves because it’s just easier  than wasting precious time delegating and risking a redo later.   How did it get this way and when is it too much??   I’d like to know:

1. What is it that makes you feel overwhelmed & does it affect your health?
2. How does the stress impact how you engage w/your kids?
3. What would you like to do differently to eliminate some of the stress triggers in your life?
4. Do you find it easier to delegate certain things or just get them done yourself?
5. If you’ve found balance, what’s tips can you share?
6. Do you feel like household responsibilities are equally distributed in your home?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on some or all of these points!  And feel free to share this with your friends.  Many more polls to come as I write more articles.  This is your chance to be heard and YOUR voice could impact an upcoming Ricki Lake Show!

It’s official.  At 2:47pm today, the last 13 years of my life flashed before my eyes as my once baby girl morphed into a teenager.

I’m not exactly sure how it all happened.  One minute she’s on the boob, then crawling, then running away ripping off her diaper in the most public of places (I still kick myself for not catching it on video!).  Then kindergarten, then week long hikes in the Sierras with daddy, bouts with mean girls and now junior high school & an obsession with Sephora.  She’s blossomed into a confident girl who is very comfortable in her own skin.  And for that I am SO grateful!  Trinity is my daughter, at times my confidant, and always my pride and joy.  (Yes, I’ve had a little wine.  Just a little, I swear….)

We’ve always empowered our daughters to speak their minds (respectfully) and question authority when necessary.  Although at times they need reminding that they’re not supposed to question MY authority (ahem)….   they are still good girls.   It’s an  amazing thing to know that your girls can take care of themselves, in a positive way.  The teen has become a master at conflict resolution (remember those mean girls?  Yeah, they all want to be her friend now…) and holding her ground and not compromising her core values.  She just gets it.  She gets it like some adults I know DON’T get it (& probably never will).  And I’m totally fine with taking full credit for that BTW, although Pork Chop could seriously win Dad of the Year.  I won’t let him “up” me so that will never happen, but I’m just sayin…

I have a tissue in hand and just want to share a few words before I kill this bottle of wine in mourning of the true teen years to come:

Trinity, I want you to know that you are loved beyond imagination.  I believe in you, I trust you and I could never be more proud of the young lady that you are.  You have a special talent with words, both written and spoken and that will take you as far as you allow it to.  I cherish our “girlie time” together and I love all our talks.  You’re inspiring with your passion about doing the right thing, about equal rights and treating others with kindness and respect.  You are honest and beautiful.  You are your sister’s mentor and protector.  And you will always be our baby girl.

Furthermore, if you EVER get caught doing half of the things I did at your age you will be grounded until college!

Love,

Mommy

The last two days were a complete whirlwind of laundry, cleaning, organizing then finally packing for my “business” trip to Napa for the first annual Wine Sisterhood Gathering.  As I’m packing I hear the spawn arguing about their chores.  The tween is being rude to dad in the kitchen while unloading the dishwasher in a very unorganized fashion (a glimpse of her rebellion).  The eight year old is whining that the towels are too big for her to fold.  The tween is yelling back at her to just do the best you can in a “loving, sisterly” sort of tone.  It’s not well received.

Now, let me just say that I prefer to let the kids work it out themselves.  But at this point it was like nails on a chalkboard listening to the kids whine & complain & fight just because I gave them a few responsibilities.  And my poor husband is not quite the dictator that I am (he’s the fun guy) so I can tell that he’s struggling.

“You people are doing exactly what I do for you each & everyday!  Except today you get to do it for yourselves & actually be a part of the order of this household!”

I just had to get my two cents in.  It struck a chord & (in time) both girls mellowed out & apologized.  I had a heart to heart with the girls before I left & told our oldest that she’s the mom when I’m gone.  That doesn’t mean that she can be bossy, but she’s the boss.  And the boss is responsible for making sure that everything runs as smoothly as possible & that everyone is happy.  I told them to help out as much as possible so daddy didn’t get overwhelmed.  And our little one is to be in charge of taking care of all the pets, the plants & making sure everyone gets their daily dose of hugs & kisses. The oldest loves to be in charge & the youngest is such a nurturer, so they accepted their respected duties with big smiles & told me, “Don’t worry, mommy.  We’ll take care of everything.”

Sigh…..

Again, I ask the question, “Do we do too much for our kids??”

I was having a selfish moment when the kids were fighting & thinking how ungrateful they are for complaining about doing a few chores.  I do that all the time in addition to being a slave to their social agendas & sports schedules & volunteering for every which thing & managing the household.  Oh yeah, and running my businesses! Whew.  I need to take a breath.

I also reflected on when I was merely seven years old that I was a latchkey kid.  Yup.  Second grade.  But who wasn’t a latchkey kid?  Your mom either stayed home or she worked, which meant you either came home to milk & cookies on the kitchen table or you came home & made your own damn cookies.  Then did your chores (without complaining).  Then finished your homework & went outside to play until curfew, which was when the street lights came on.  I’d come home filthy, starving & tired.  I never complained about the food on my plate (although my mom tells a different tale…).  I learned responsibility at a young age & I believe it shaped me into the person I am today.  A dictator…..

Sigh….

Then I realized that that’s what kids do.  They test their boundaries by pushing us.  They learn by our actions & reactions.  My outburst sure caught their attention & was in no means damaging, but what did that really accomplish??  Well, aside from making the room quiet (thank you) it did nothing more than allow me to throw my own tantrum.  But then I realized that none of us are perfect & that’s what makes a family interesting & beautiful.  We all have our own ebb & flow & a method to our madness.  I do all these things for my family because I want them to be happy.  And they do things for me, too.  Especially my husband.  He totally gets it.

So, to answer the million dollar question, I don’t think that I do too much for my kids.  Sure, I’m going a million miles a minute in different directions, but I love it.  And I do take time to take care of myself and my kids get that.  I’ve trained them well (hehe) and they know that when mommy’s happy so is her kingdom.  I’m sitting in a beautiful room in Napa right now.  I watched the sunrise from my cush bed (with no dogs or snoring hubby) then took a really long, hot raindrop shower.  And now I’m going down to the restaurant to enjoy a lovely breakfast with some girlfriends.  Nope.  I dont’ think I do too much at all.  The rewards are amazing.

Watch this video to hear Ricki Lake’s #1 Tip for Connecting on Social Media

2. Be Respectful.

Leave judgment at the door and respect that other people on social media have beliefs and opinions that are their own. This is what makes them unique! Just as in offline relationships, if you want to make friends, you have to be one first. If you want people to respect you, start by being respectful of them. 3. Be Inspiring. People like social media for many reasons. Many will share that they feel uplifted and empowered to live their best life by connecting with inspiring and positive people. If you want to make a lot of friends on social media, be inspiring. Be encouraging. Be a friend. 4. Be Generous. The more you offer to help others in life, the more “likeable” you will be. When on social media you can help others by supporting their work. Take the time to mention people, and give them positive feedback. When you re-tweet or share the content of others they feel good and are more likely to appreciate and connect with you. Remember, “it’s not about me, it’s about we”. 5. Find a Fun Community! Following a hashtag community on Twitter or joining a group or community on Facebook is a great way to connect with people who are like you and who are usually looking for the same type of connection you are looking for. Twitter and Facebook are the largest gathering of individuals on the planet. Communities are simply small groups within. Think of communities on social media as you would small break-out sessions at a very, very large conference. The name on the door is the community. Pick the door that tells you that you share common interests with those on the other side. Then, open the door, step inside and say hello via a tweet or a post on the Facebook wall. You will be surprised that many are waiting for… you! If you are looking for a community that is based on friendship and connection, please join Ricki Lake and the Friends of Ricki for a very special announcement and a first hand look at social media connection on Ustream at http://ustream.tv/rickilake and using Twitter hashtag #FriendsofRicki at 5pm PST this Wednesday, February 1. We look forward to seeing you and connecting with you there! Do you have any ideas or questions about making connections on social media? Please leave your thoughts in the comments and let’s discuss.

Family aside, there’ s not much more in this world that I enjoy more than giving back.  And wine country.  With a girlfriend (okay, or with Pork Chop ’cause he’s super hot…).  I gathered from all the many discussions we’ve shared on my fan page that you’re also very charitably driven.  Seems like at any given time we are wearing the hats of coach, room parent, taxi driver, chef extraordinare, event planner, snotty nose wiper, hostess with the mostess of endless slumber parties and personal concierge, all subcategories of the professional title of MOM.  We’re so busy taking care of everyone around us that we often neglect to do something for ourselves.

I wanted to create an opportunity for you to be able to do something for yourself while helping others at the same time.   So Cellar Angels and I partnered to do just that.  By referring your friends & family to sign up to receive announcements from Cellar Angels, you are automatically entered to win(e) the Napa trip of a lifetime!  One wine-loving winner and a guest will experience three (3) days in Napa Valley, including:

We’re down to the wire, folks!  In exactly ONE WEEK the grand prize winner of the 3 Day Napa Excursion will be announced!  There’s absolutely no purchase necessary.  This is a referral contest & the purpose of the contest is to tell as many people as possible about Cellar Angels and the good work that they do.

ABOUT CELLAR ANGELS

Cellar Angels was created by a compassionate group of wine loving friends intent on changing the world. Their mission is simple: connect small and family run wineries to a larger audience, expose wine lovers to incredible purchase opportunities offered exclusively to Cellar Angels members from partnering vineyards, and provide assistance to a select group of charities.  Personally, I love the concept.  Cellar Angels works exclusively with mom & pop types of indie vinters, offers consumers a direct sale discount then donates a percentage of proceeds to a charity of your choice!  It’s a win, win, win situation

HOW DO YOU WIN THE GRAND PRIZE??

“Like” Cellar Angels on Facebook.  Share with your friends.  Visit the Cellar Angels website & register as a user.  Share with your friends.  If you notice the theme of the party is sharing with your friends   And the more the merrier!  Let’s work together to spread the word about Cellar Angels and win a trip for you & a friend to Napa, just for doing a good deed.

BONUS PRIZES!

I’m giving away a pair of OMG wine glasses to the fan who refers the most people to Cellar Angels each week ($30 value).  Just one more reason to share this with all your friends & family!

GOOD LUCK! <clink!>

~ Christine

And don’t forget to “like” Cellar Angels on Facebook & refer all your friends to their page.  While you’re there, sign up to receive their announcements & you’ll be automatically entered to win the 3 Day Trip to Napa!  You can also win a pair of OMG wine glasses each week leading up to the grand prize!  Contest deadline is January 28th & I talk a little about it in the video.

Monique Soltani & I at Schweiger Vineyards

What do you get when you combine a smartphone, a meaningful message and a brilliant song?   You get Olive the Movie.  Olive is the first feature film to be shot entirely with a smartphone and has already had two limited runs in L.A with great success.  Its theme song Imaginary Friends is on the short-list for an Academy Award.

I had the unique privilege of receiving a copy of the movie from Hooman Khalili (one of the movie creators) this week & watched it with my hubby & 7th grade daughter.  Simply put, I loved it.  With the exception of one scene that was briefly violent (a bullying/fight scene which was necessary to deliver a lesson of discrimination), I liked that I could watch the movie as a family.   I was able to personally connect with Olive’s theme and really enjoyed how all the character stories had their own purpose yet shared a connection at the same time.

Olive is about a little girl who transforms the lives of three people without speaking an entire word.  Even though the child does not speak, she communicates in a unique way that is heard loud & clear.  The dialogue in the movie is compelling & effectively delivers a strong message.  Prejudice, obesity, Alzheimer’s and nature are the center of the movie’s message and relate to many of us in our daily lives.

Starring two time Oscar nominated actress Gena Rowlands (The Notebook, A Woman Under the Influence),  Olive is making history by being the first full length feature film to qualify for an Academy Award!  But you can’t run out to the movies with the kiddos to watch it just yet as this indie operation has distribution deals still in the works.  We will wait…EAGERLY!!  In the meantime, you can watch the first five minutes of Olive, like them on Facebook then share with all your friends to help Olive on its way to reaching Oscar stardom and mainstream distribution!

For those of you in Sacramento, I will be hosting a private viewing party for a few friends and OMG wine fans.  Be sure you “like” the OMG fanpage and the Olive the Movie fanpage so you can receive an invitation!  Only fans who share Olive with their friends are eligible for the private viewing inviation.  More deets to come.  Until then, I’m sure you’ll enjoy Imaginary Friends by Ben Lear:

Yup, we eloped.  In all of our infinite wisdom and young, adventurous and spirited minds we decided that eloping would best suit our nuptuals.  15 years later, we would not have changed a thing!  What started as a somewhat traditional, very intimate, romantic wedding in a botanical garden at Victorian restaurant soon evolved into a family fiasco complete with horse drawn carriages, string quartets, ridiculous menu and even more ridiculous was the guest list of every family member that neither of us hardly remembers meeting in our lifetime.   Whew… that was a mouthful.

This is the condensed version (because who has time to read anything with kids climbing all over our backs???):

December 17th, 1996.  87 degrees in LA.  We board our ship & set sail for the beautiful Catalina Island with final destination Ensanada, Mexico.  Yes, Ensanada.  Did I mention that we were “if you add peas to the Top Ramen it’s a meal” kind of poor??? But wait, I forgot to pack the contact & appointment info for the justice of the peace.  Fiance says, “Nice.  Looks like we’re not getting married.”  I retort, “I’ve already mailed the letters.  We’re getting married & liking it, dammit!”

Luckily we stood out in our fancy duds & the JOP spot us pretty quickly & escorted us to the top of the island via limo-esque stretch golf cart.  We met three witnesses at our destination (strangers we met on the ship): a 50′s something nightclub owner from LA, his best friend (insert visual of half-tinted glasses, gold nugget rings & polyester shirts unbuttoned to showcase chest hair & gold chains) & a hooker.  Yes, I said “hooker”.

The nightclub owner videotaped the exchange of vows & his entourage threw the rice.  It was a classy affair.

We arrive back at the ship for the Captain’s Dinner  & we were already dressed the part.  We decided to be seated in a group for all our meals so we could make new friends.  Well, our new friends all had special little gifts for us & the 850 other dinner guests partook in our celebration that pretty much lasted until the wee hours.  I lost track of all the bottles of champagne that were sent to our table and our room to congratulate us.

Next thing I know I’ve entered myself into a dance contest in the Disco Lounge.  A couple’s dance contest.  My new husband does not like to dance.  Our names are called as the next contestants & Porkchop is no where to be found.  WTH???  The hooker runs off to look for him (& for some reason I’m not alarmed about this…) & I proceed to bust a move in true liquid courage form.  I’m such a rock star that I take 2nd place    Just as I’m awarded my trophy, Porkchop arrives to partake in the glory.  But he arrives with  $150 he won in the casino & a cocktail in hand, so I forgive him.

The next morning we arrive in Ensanada, which for those of us who are accustomed to the ways of crossing the California border to party in our younger years, is a glorified Tijuana.  Still, it was our honeymoon & every moment was hiliarious & special & all our own.  Including getting really, really drunk at Papas & Beer & nearly dying in a taxi ride back to the port before our ship departed Mexico!  Good times…

Fifteen years later Porkchop & I are livin’ the domestic dream.  We have two beautiful, intelligent daughters (they get it from my side…), we laugh everyday & we love life, together.  I could not imagine spending my life with anyone else.  He understands me like no one else, he treats me with so much respect, shows me endless love.  Porkchop not only looks good (grrrrrrr….) but thankfully he’s a very patient man.  Otherwise we might not be celebrating our anniversary today.

Happy Anniversary, Porkchop!

Want a trip to Napa to hang with me and my besties the Wine Sisterhood?  We’ll fly one Grand Prize winner to Napa to attend the first ever Wine Sisterhood gathering (February 26th-29th 2012)!

First Prizes: 3 gift baskets of Wine Sisterhood and OMG goodies!

Just follow these simple steps:

1.  “Like” OMG I So Need Wine on Facebook

2.  “Like” the Wine Sisterhood on Facebook

3.  Fill out the contest form. Just tell us why (in 250 words or less) you want to win a trip to Napa.

Entry deadline 10/31/11. Winners announced 11/17/11. 

I was picking up our teen from the neighborhood yogurt shop when a woman in the backseat of a car started yelling at me for taking her parking space. “You are so inconsiderate! Can’t you see that I just had surgery? You bitch!” Really? Because the last I checked you were the one parked in the handicap space.

There were two teenagers with her and they were apologizing to no end, telling me that she did in fact just have surgery and has no idea what she’s saying due to her meds. They were super embarrassed, so I felt a little sorry for them and decided to ignore Basket Case the best I could. The kids stared in awe as we walked calmly into the yogurt shop, and I’m sure my daughter was wondering how I was going to manage to embarrass her in front of her friends with this one…

Still not sure why they all stopped for frozen yogurt at the local kid’s hangout, but in went Basket Case hobbling on her crutches, ranting and raving about how rude I am. I pulled the guy aside who’s with her and ask if they need any help (perhaps help with that high five. In her face. With a chair…) because she’s obviously delusional. He just apologized and said they were going to try to get out of there as fast as they can. She offended everyone in the yogurt shop, continued to yell at me, all the while I’m telling all the girls this is what happens when you use drugs (Way to work it, mom!).

No sooner do I turn to the poor girl behind the counter to ask her to call the police, I see Basket Case hobble out the door and over to my car. I run out as fast as I can but I was too late. She threw her chocolate frozen yogurt all over my car! At this point I see all the girls pressed up to the glass, staring with wide eyes and jaws dropped to see how I was going to react. It’s all I had in me to NOT kick this woman in her good knee. I won’t repeat what I said to her (I’m sure your imagination will be spot on) but I was really careful not to yell because I didn’t want the girls to hear what I said! LOL. Basket Case turned around & quickly hobbled to her car. I go inside to get paper towels & water to clean off my car (all the while fantasizing about grabbing her by the hair and wiping it clean with her face…). You could hear a pin drop in the yogurt shop. I just smiled and kept calm and walked back outside to clean up her mess. And what do I walk out to find? She was smearing the yogurt with her hand all over my window and door. OMG I so need the number to a mental institution or I’m gonna fucking kill this woman!

I started to lose my cool and made my point very clear to her and her friends. They grab her, shove her in the car and “try” to drive off. The poor girl who was driving was so flustered that she accidentally drove forward instead of reversing out of the space, then popped the trunk open when she was trying to change gears. LOL. Serves her right for having a dumb ass as a friend. I was hoping that they were taking her straight to the emergency room before I had a chance to put her there myself!

They drive off, I calmly go inside to retrieve my yogurt and explain to the girls that good people do really bad things when they do drugs. I also stressed to them that when people are high on drugs and they’re irrational, you have to be careful because they can hurt you. Then I went outside to eat my frozen yogurt with my husband, who was also in amazement that I didn’t knock Basket Case on her ass, and we chat about how hard it was to stay cool in that situation for the kids. Suddenly I hear, “DIE, BITCH!” as the car drives by. OMG are you kidding me?? Breath. Deep, deep breath.

Kids come out of the yogurt shop telling me how impressed they are with how well I handled that. It was so funny. One girl said “My mom would have gone down swinging.” Another said, “Yeah, my mom would have punched her in the face.” Dangit! And I did this for the kids????

The irony of all this? It’s Red Ribbon Week! The kids were all decked out in red gear and swag. There could not be a more opportune time for a drug crazed lunatic to set a perfect example of what not to do. Kudos, Basket Case, for a job well done. Note to self: always keep the iPhone handy for video opps!

Still, I was pretty proud of myself for not losing my temper. But on the drive home my daughter informed me that all her friends could read my lips and knew exactly what I said when I told the woman off. Nice. Very nice. Parents, you can thank me later for teaching your kids to speak like truckers. Then my daughter said that I totally rocked and that she’s proud of me. Sigh